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But… I Don’t FEEL Loved…

March 16, 2018 | Kristen James

Family LifeMarriage & Relationships

"I love you!" "But I don't feel loved!" "That's silly because I really do love you!" 

Have you had this conversation before? It's a very, very frustrating one. And it feels like it's a losing battle. 

If I spoke only Italian and you spoke only French, we would have a very hard time communicating, right? Some things we could figure out and we might even have a couple laughs, but we wouldn't be connecting deeply or developing a very good friendship. I would feel like you didn't understand me (which would be true) and you would feel like I wasn't getting you (which would be true). 

Years ago, I discovered "The Five Love Languages" and it's made loving and understanding my family and friends so much easier! According to Gary Chapman, we there are five "love languages" that we all speak. They are the ways that we best understand how to give and receive love in. When we understand our own language and the language our spouses or kids or friends speak, we're all going to understand and love each other so much better!

The 5 Love Languages are:

Words of Affirmation  -  use words to encourage other people

Acts of Service  -  actions speak louder than words

Gifts  -  love to give and receive presents

Quality Time - appreciate undivided attention

Physical Touch - a hug is worth a million bucks

My love language is Acts of Service, I love to help out my friends and family whenever they need something. It makes my heart full to take a task off of someone else's to do list and one of my most favorite things that Mike (my fiance) does for me is cleaning my car! But his love language is Quality Time, so after learning that, I realized why he wasn't feeling ooey gooey about all the tasks I got done for him. He would rather have a long conversation or go play mini golf with me. 

When we know how the ones we love will feel the most loved, we can make them feel so much more valued and appreciated! What is your love language? Find out here and then send it to your family and friends! 

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